My god.. Its been over a year since i've last written in this blog. In that year...life sucked the same just as any year..if possible..it sucked worse. Im in such a dark mood nowadays..due to the impending doom that is about to strike me.

Why always me..why me.. I may be whining on par and to the same effect as a 5year old but what the heck.. When u gotta let go u just gotta let go u know? Im so depressed nowadays. Not in an attention seeking metaphorical way. Im just literally simply depressed.

Like spongebob without his krabby patties.. just irrevocably(ok an exaggeration here) depressed.

There really is NO and NOTHING i look forward to anymore and the only thing i look forward to nowadays is the one thing thats gonna up and leave me eventually. Why. No. Not why. Again more like' why me'..

My theory is..that bad luck is stuck to my ass like a giant barnacle permanently lodged onto a mussel.. Every damn thing i do, the degree of suffering is magnified to epic proportions.(wallowing in self-pity now yes)

As pathetic n self-deprecating as i am i usually dont wallow or at most come off it in a couple of days but i've been feeling blue for at least 2 months now..everyday is a chore.. I wish i didnt have to wake up.. Plus living with my family...god...throw me to the mansons please! I'll take my chances. -_-

Its all i can do to not drown myself by ingesting large quantities of delicious refreshing peelfresh.(any fresher and you'll hafto peel it urself!) yea. Watever.

All i feel nowadays is dread n hopelessness.. I dont wanna work or go out anywhere or do anything.. Wish i had a food pump cuz my salivary glands dont water for anything nowadays..even my unagi tastes bland.. Im tired from the moment i wake up to the moment i sleep. Yet i have problems actually falling asleep.

I need a Dr. Phil here pronto..

At ou now. When i parked the car just now, i smacked the front into a small piece of kerb jutting conveniently out of the pavement...again...like for the 3rd time in 3 days...i think im going for a record here...

AAAAnyway...i was so tired yesterday i almost smacked the car several times into MORE kerbs and dividers, all jutting conveniently out of OTHER pavements,on the way home..

Again im procrastinating for exams...and samadian idol is on but....yaaawn. Really. Life is so.....yaaaawn. I think i should open a betting pool for WHEN mei fong will lose her sanity in the process of organizing the event.. Haha. I think she'll last for a couple more weeks, god willing.

Im so stoned and braindead now i cant garner anything remotely interesting to blog about..

This is by far theworst chinese new year i've experienced so far.. No angpau. Not that angpau is the be all end all of CNY but ALSO im not experiencing anything with the remote hint of the word ''reunion'' in it....why? Two words. FAMILY POLITICS. Left boycotts right and up boycotts down, this happens everyway and we all go round and round.. Yaaaaawn. Im so bored i cant blog...

Feel so bored..its my off-day today yet i havent a clue what to do. So im watching ip man later..yawnn..better than staying at home but still...Yaaaaaaaaaaaaawnn..

...

Christmas came and went and schools starting on the 5th of Jan. HOWEVER..i'll be skipping the first day of upper six to re-sit for my parking test..which i failed..lamely.
Anyway, i currently am in a frame of no-life. Aka i wake up , eat, shit , work and repeat said cycle the next day and the day after that. Its robotic, completely mind numbing, as well as disturbing. i Mean..This is how it feels like, just...working. This is what im resigning my life to for the next 40 years or so as a working adult...god..
Thats what we, regardless of whether you are poor , middle class and or hail from the upper crust , are destined for ultimately in life...''WORK''(though the richies have it easier in the aspects of funding their lives). We will wake up everyday to eat, work, take a bath, work, breathe, work, work and work some more all the while looking forward to our days off to hopefully squeeze a laugh in to detonate stress bombs collected and hoarded in the gallons to prepare ourselves for the rest of the week for more... WORK .
So work work and work we will all while trying to maintain what little grasp of sanity we call ours in this sturctured little hell hole society and the system has designed to enable some form of orderliness in ORDER for order to be had. I bet that last sentence sounded grammatically negative. I havent a clue.
But it is true..the fact that life as you know it ends on technical note after you complete all forms of schooling and begin working. The pessimists or realists will agree but i daresay the optimists will vehemently insist that your attitude towards life determines the way you live it, may it be full of self induced misery or bubbling day after day of happiness.
Aka it depends on the individual to make the most out of what they have and to love and cherish everyday of life working or not and blah blah blah etc etc..when life gives you lemons you make guiness stout or whatever lame-ass motivational lines you can come up with to enable people who cant grasp the concept to comprehend the sentence.
However, regardless of what i think and feel, we WILL be working. ALL of us. It is one of the inevitable things in life that happen may it be with or without a reason..(apart from death) Heck, even being an Ah Long or pasar malam beggar is a proffession as long as our coffers are being filled and our gastric juices dont have our stomachs endodermal linings for breakfast lunch and dinner. All in all, you only live once, and to live life the way it is ...the way EVERYONE says its meant to be lived...is a complete waste.
(I know this post is brimming with paradoxes but i dont have the time to retype it because....well....i hafto go work now...)

Tagged..by someone whos mental state is as so...
Coffee + exam stress + lack of sleep = Caffeine induced high.
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My Top 5 Most Favorite Food- 1. Dragonfruit ^^ , 2. Unagi 3. Rotiboy 4. Ikan Pari 5. Bayam

10 Things I Love Doing- 1. Reading newspapers 2. walking aimlessly in ou 3. walking in the park 4. Watching horror movies in the front-test row ^^ 5. eating dragonfruit 6.cycling 7. surfing the net (innocent stuff only ^.^) 8. watching the sunrise 9. laughing at stupid jokes 10. eating unagi (All not in order)


Things I Love Doing When I'm Emo- 1. Listen to emo music ( A MUST ) 2. pulling an emo face
(this comes very naturally..-.-) 3. Going for long walks 4. Not talking 5. Being alone

Things I Love Doing When I'm Happy- Umm.. Basically i laugh and make lame jokes..basically.

5 Things I Wish To Happen- 1. I win a BMW 5 series.. 2. I become a super-nerd. 3. Im selected for ANOTHER round of NS ^^ 4. Im given a 5.30pm appointment with GOD to ask the why's , where's, whos and the what's. 5. I get better questions when i get tagged next..

My Top 5 Addicted Songs- Jonas Brothers/ Love Bug, HSM 3/ Can i have this dance , Jesse Mcartney/ Its Over , Shontelle/ T-shirt , .

5 Persons I Wish To Tag- Hahaha. Nah.. Malaslah.

Y-y-y-YAAAAAAWN

Holidays are long boring stretches of wasted time when you have nothing on your agenda, (not unlike me), but are blessings to those whose timetables put any CEO's to shame. But me being me, and i being i, holidays just represent a different way of being lapsed in a temporary coma.

This is so because I wake up everyday with nothing on my to-do list, nothing to look forward to and nothing to accomplish. Sigh..its downright boredom with just the internet and OU for company. Seriously, if this keeps up, my expression will be frozen permanently into an old lady's, sitting at RUMAH ORANG TUA watching spongebob day after day..complete with the weak salivary gland action and glazed eyes look...just more frightening.

This will be the method i use to smile when my facial muscles fail to comply in 50 years. ~CHEEEESE!!~

And being braindead as such doesnt bode well for me when taking my L driving lessons. In fact, its a bloody disaster and im positive my instructor has envisioned me as an incompetent bumbling buffoon with the driving capabilities of a one legged-ostrich. In fact, my ostrich-like ability to commandeer a vehicle nearly killed us both on the highway. I would like to thank my two left feet and double-fingered hands for that pleasurable experience. No doubt will i cringe in the memory of its horror for many a year to come.

Also, my senile state of mind has made me unaware of the oncoming prom. Another nightmare i cannot fathom experiencing due to my current hermit-like tendencies. I believe our President, being away in camp, is unable to thoroughly organize the event and will have to complete said task in..say..a week? No mean feat for any but i am positive things will turn out fine. The majority of our 6th Form Society commitee members are responsible if not dedicated (too strong a word). Im confident they will come through despite any misgivings they may have about the decisions made and OR the actions taken.(Me included. You dont always smile at the boss. ^^ Unless you're a sad,spineless, kiss-a** boot licker who grew an extra leg just to tripod him/her.)

And, being a member of that society, i would like to say my performance leaves a lot to be desired..sigh..just me being me.